My Ectopic Baby
We have lost 18 preborn babies. One of those precious babies was a tubal ectopic pregnancy. To be honest, it was a very surreal and scary experience, but never once did we consider killing our baby, Let me explain…
The scary side is always well presented by many the concerned onlooker. While maternal death and tubal rupture is not as inevitable as some make it out to be, it is a risk associated with ectopic pregnancies. What many do not know, and are not told is that there are many medically documented cases of babies who were born healthy because a miracle-performing God spared their lives! Most of the ectopic babies who survive are abdominal ectopic pregnancies, but still others are tubal ectopic pregnancies.
My friend, Resi, is a tubal ectopic baby. Her mother refused a medical abortion or surgical removal of her from the tube, and because of her mom’s courageous decision, Resi, as an embryo, migrated to the uterus and is alive today. Sound amazing or maybe, too miraculous to be true? It is miraculous! And, yes, this can be the result of an ectopic pregnancy! This is what can happen if we let God be God. But when we take the reins and end the life of an ectopic baby, how will we know what God would have done? And how can we live satisfactorily with knowing what we choose to do to our own baby?
Another thing that many women are not told is that there is another management option of a tubal ectopic pregnancy, prior to a tubal rupture and the death of the baby.
When I was told by my doctor that my baby was growing in my fallopian tube, I was given three options. I refused the methotrexate, which is an abortion drug. I also refused surgery to either remove the baby from the tube or to remove the tube completely. The third choice was the only choice I could live with, knowing all I knew. I chose to do something called, “expectant management”.
While many doctors would rather minimize their risk for medical lawsuits and instead hand a woman a prescription or offer a surgical procedure to remove the baby from where he/she is growing, “expectant management” can be an acceptable, yet rarely-discussed, way to handle an ectopic pregnancy while under the watchful eyes of a doctor.
WHAT ABOUT THE RISK OF MATERNAL DEATH?
Our family’s experience of losing Levi Samuel was the closest I have ever come to going Home to Jesus.
Levi was our 16 week old preborn son who died after a sudden and complete placental abruption in January 2010. As I delivered him and started hemorrhaging profusely, my body began going into shock. My organs were shutting down, and all this just 5-10 minutes after the whole miscarriage suddenly began – without even one sign or symptom.
I believe that with every incidence where someone comes close to the point where they could have died, they suddenly realize just how fragile LIFE is! It is at that point when it really hits home and kicks that “natural man” and that fear into high gear.
Fear is never of God.
Thankfully I have learned, through our journey of letting God control the giving and taking of life, to trust in how God uses perceived bad situations for our good. I trust Him with all His creation including me and my babies. Yes, even my ectopic baby!
I know that the God of the Bible would never create a little someone just to tell me in Heaven, “Well, you should have used that wonderful brain I gave you to help me prevent creating that little life that took yours. I just can’t handle all things.”
That thought makes me realize that God is…well, God! He never asks for or requires our help in giving, preventing or taking life. He’s fully capable of handling it all…including my fears! I can rest peacefully, knowing that as long as I am acting within His Will that I am in His hands!
THE SHEDDING OF INNOCENT BLOOD IS PROHIBITED
The other thing I fully realize as a Christian who values all life no matter where that life is located, is that God NEVER condones the shedding of innocent blood. Never! No exceptions! Period.
“There are six things which the LORD hates, Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood…” Proverbs 6:16-17
“A man who is laden with the guilt of human blood will be a fugitive until death; let no one support him.”Proverbs 28:17
“Whoever sheds man’s blood, by man his blood shall be shed, for in the image of God He made man.”Genesis 9:6
God condemned and wiped out the cities that allowed child sacrifice, allowing it to be not only accepted, but embraced by their societies.
Even though aborting an ectopic pregnancy baby are not usually considered to be a “sacrifice”, nevertheless it truly is a “sacrifice”. We CHOOSE to supposedly spare the life of the supposedly more important of the two – the mother. Not to mention, it is still the shedding of blood, no matter the reasoning behind it, in the bringing on of PREMATURE death of another innocent human being – the child.
God has told us plainly through the above verses (among many others) that we are not to kill those undeserving of death, even when the ends appear to justify the means. I could NEVER justify my rights to take the life of my child in order to assumedly prolong my own.
OUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED
God says numerous times in His Word that our days are numbered. We cannot and should not seek to limit the divinely predetermined days that God has laid out for our children! And on the same note, we cannot assume that anything of our OWN doing will prolong the predetermined days we are given on this earth by God!
“My times are in Your hands.” Psalm 31:15
I fear God. I respect my Creator enough to trust that HE ALONE knows when my child will leave this earth. I also trust that He knows when I will leave this earth. I cannot act as though I know better than the Creator of the universe!
As much as I want to raise my children myself and stay long enough on this earth in order to do so, I know that if I die God will provide for those I leave behind, taking all that Satan meant for bad and turning it around for our good.
ONLY God knows what lies ahead down the road of my life, my husband’s life, and my children’s lives. To play God by eliminating someone else’s life based on the calculated, humanly-perceived chances of dying, I am determining that my ectopic baby should not be allowed to live the life that God has planned (albeit possibly being short) because mine is more important. That’s simply not true. We are both of equal value in the eyes of our Creator. I am also cutting short the number of days God laid out for my son/daughter that has implanted outside of the womb or even limiting God in what could have been a miracle that He wanted to perform!
When our miracle-making, Father GOD (being Who He truly is, not what I perceive or make Him to be) has our lives in His hands, using all our circumstances – good or bad – for our eternal good, why would I want to step in and tell Him what I “know” to be right and true? Why would I presume I had the right to determine whether or not to end the life growing outside my uterus?
If I do insist that I know the plan for my child’s life better than God knows, and I allow another human to kill the life within me, I have killed an innocent life prematurely (I am fully aware that other women…maybe innocently or unknowingly…might have chosen differently) . I do not want the consequences laid out in the following verse (and in the preceding verses) to haunt me from now into eternity, when I knew, with full disclosure, what I chose to do to my baby.
“So when you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide My eyes from you; Yes, even though you multiply prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are covered with blood.” Isaiah 1:15
I want to do my best to arrive in Heaven with the cleanest slate possible. I want to have my Creator’s eyes and ears turned in my direction when I pray. I want Him to say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant”, even if I meet Him much sooner than I had anticipated. God is God. I surrender my fleshly desires and I fully trust the Creator with me and my family!
Many might adhere to their human opinions on when it is permissible to kill a preborn baby. Regardless of what humans think is right, God has plainly declared that murder of the innocents is wrong. He also clearly displays throughout Scripture His loving plans and provision for each and every one of us, no matter our size, our age, or even our location. It is important that Christians allow Scripture alone to dictate what we think of the shedding innocent blood and the power of God to perform miracles, always using bad situations for our good.