January 26, 2010. 9:00 pm.
No signs. No clues. Prior to the sudden hemorrhaging, I had no idea that miscarriage was again a possibility. All of this was so shocking; so unforeseen. Having only experienced one other 2nd trimester miscarriages in the past, I thought that I was far enough along to start relaxing and getting excited about our little baby. But now my rejoicing in meeting and holding my living child, would turn to my rejoicing that my baby was safe and whole with my Savior.
On this night, I delivered my 4 month old, 16 week old little BOY at home, moments after gushing blood all over the house.
Our other children saw and heard the ambulance arrive. A few of them saw Mommy as she was being wheeled out, white as a sheet, unconscious and on a stretcher. They knew at that time that Levi was already in Heaven, but now their concern turned to Mommy.
Firmly patting my face Mark said, "Lisa! Stay with me! Stay with me!" Mark looked panicked, as I drifted in and out on the stretcher. I remember looking at the ceiling fan and thinking that this was "it".
I had gone into shock in under 10 minutes.
Rushed to the hospital, I continued to lose massive amounts of blood, which led to a transfusion of 4 units of blood. See, I am what most would call, a "bleeder". I have antiphospholipid syndrome, also known as lupus anticoagulant or Hughe's Syndrome. But I would not know that diagnosis until weeks after this loss. The 6 miscarriages I had prior to this one had not raised one red flag in my doctors' eyes. It took the OB doctor on call this evening, seeing me near death, to order the necessary tests in order to finally get my answers and to give me hope in future pregnancies. After I arrived at the hospital Mark and I urged the E.R. doctors to try my usual drugs used for hemorrhaging. But those didn't work. I was told that without an emergency D&C, I would have been dead in 30 minutes. HIS NAME
After the hysteria subsided in the house, Annalise (then 17) led all the children in praise songs, while Grandma listened in. They UNITED in PRAYER for Mommy's recovery and saw their prayers ANSWERED! God spared my life miraculously. I was so close to joining this tiny baby in Glory, but He chose to let me stay here on earth for a bit longer. We are all grateful that I am here to raise my children, but thankfully I was prepared to go Home, if the Lord had seen fit to take me. We were so grateful for our UNITED PRAYER warriors, which is why we chose that name for our son.
We named our little baby Levi Samuel which means, "united/ answer to prayer".
See that tiny hand in the photo above?
That's our Levi!
He was beautiful. He was so PERFECTLY formed, just as the Bible so perfectly describes. In fact, the E.R. nurses and EMT's were amazed at how perfectly formed he was at such a young age. He even resembled, at just 16 weeks, my other children! He was my little baby, created in the image of His Creator God, just as Scripture says! CLOSURE
We were able to bury precious Levi on February 3rd (two days before my 33rd birthday, for which I was happy to have been able to celebrate). It was a small service - with only grandparents and our pastor and his family. Such peace has been brought by being able to lay him to rest! Through it ALL, we still praise Jesus and remember these verses...
"I will fulfill my vows to You, O God, and will offer a sacrifice of thanks for Your help. For you have rescued me from death; You have kept my feet from slipping. So now I can walk in Your presence, O God, in Your life-giving light." Psalm 56:12-13
"And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world..." 1 Corinthians 15:19
"Heaven is not here, it's There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for." Elisabeth Elliot